Emotional State and Decision Making

Haven't we all taken decisions that we have regretted? If you think back, you will realize that 9 out of 10 times, you acted out of an emotional state, which is why your decision was biased, and later you ended up regretting it.

We all have emotions tied to different circumstances, sometimes it is related to work, and other times it could be relationship issues. However, the important thing is to realize when you are in this vulnerable emotional state, and you shouldn't take any important decisions in that state of mind. This is what emotional intelligence is all about! 

Some of us are in tune with our emotions, and we often realize that we are emotional, but how do you prevent yourself from deciding at this time? That is the tough part! It's almost like you have a strong urge to take action, and yet you know that whatever action you take will not be the best for you.

My advice would be to do something that doesn’t affect another person. As long as you act out your emotions without affecting another person, it won’t matter. You can take several steps to distract yourself – like take a cardio class, meditate or dance it out. Whatever works for you in releasing your negative emotions will help you regain your composure and bring you back to a stable logical state of mind.

Keep in mind that your decisions could impact others and therefore be mindful of your state of mind. Aim to deciding from a logical state of mind and not from an emotional point of view!

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 Aditi Chopra is an experienced leader in the software industry.
She is a consultant, writer and a leader.
 LinkedIn |  Web |  Twitter | Books

Do You Recognize Your Own Stress?

We all tend to get stressed every now and then but how do we handle it? Do you recognize stress in yourself? Are you self-aware enough to recognize and manage your own stress? These are important questions to ask yourself.

Having a high Emotional Quotient (EQ) is the key to surviving in this fast-paced business world. When you are emotionally intelligent, you are more self-aware and can manage your emotions well.  The last thing you want to do is project your own stress onto others, which will not be good for you either.

Here are a few pointers that can help:

• Aim to increase your self-awareness by listening to feedback. We all have one or two people in our lives who tend to give us real feedback that we can rely on. Listening to their feedback helps you assess your own state of mind and emotions. They can help you recognize stress.
• Be mindful of your own behavior and learn to recognize stress when it happens. This could take some time and getting used to, so be patient.
• If you can identify your own stress, be on the lookout for triggers that are stressing you out and try to lessen those triggers in your life. Sometimes all it takes is to say "no" to one request, and it can make a world of difference.
• Finally, figure out one way that helps you de-stress. For some people, it could be a high-impact workout; for others it could be dancing or meditation. Figure out what works for you and be disciplined enough to take time to de-stress.

It is essential to recognize your stress and take the time to unwind so you can focus better.

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 Aditi Chopra is an experienced leader in the software industry.
She is a consultant, writer and a leader.
 LinkedIn |  Web |  Twitter | Books

Empathy - an important leadership trait!

As we see around ourselves, we often realize how few people are truly empathetic towards their co-workers or fellow human beings. A lot of people live their entire life simply focusing on their own needs, desires, accomplishments or struggles. Either they have never developed the skill of empathy or they simply don't have the time to spend on anything unrelated to their own struggles.

However, as far as business relationships go, empathy plays a strong role in building relationships in your work place. Whether it is appreciating someone's achievements or providing support in the time of their need, empathy goes a long ways. A good leader almost always have empathy for others. If they don't, they would certainly benefit from developing this skill. You cannot possibly mentor someone without having empathy for their needs and struggles.

Our future leaders need to be made aware of this important leadership skill. In fact, current generation is so engrossed in technology and social media that it is even more important that we emphasize to them the importance of learning empathy and practicing it in their day to day life.


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 Aditi Chopra is an experienced leader in the software industry.
She is a consultant, writer and a leader.
 LinkedIn |  Web |  Twitter | Books

Ego is a leader’s enemy

  

Healthy ego is essential for self-esteem and personal development, but an inflated ego is a leader’s worst enemy. Leadership is all about inspiring people, showing them the way, and leading by example. However, a leader with a heightened sense of self can only take from others and will not be able to have a positive influence around him. An egotistic leader would always be focused on serving their own personal agenda.

   I recently came across someone in power who had an overblown ego. I felt pity for the person as I saw them destroy their own image by displaying their conceited personality. When I heard the person speak, their words had a negative connotation and I realized that this leader barely had any self-awareness. It begs the question - are egotistic people solely responsible for their amplified sense of self?

   I tend to think that people who are around a leader also share some responsibility in shaping the leader’s image. If followers keep inflating their ego and don’t provide timely and adequate feedback, things can certainly get out of hand fairly quickly. If these leaders ignore the feedback, of course they are responsible for their own plight. If people keep singing your praise and keep feeding into how wonderful you are, it can get to your head sooner or later. I am pretty sure there are leaders who are secure and wouldn’t get affected by such adulation, nor let it go to their head. However, insecure leaders could be surviving on these false praises and lose any sense of reality. In the process, their own behavior would be hurting their image.

   Needless to say, as a leader, one should be self-aware and keep one’s ego in check. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to keep your ego at bay:

• Do I seek regular feedback from people around me such as my customers, peers, friends, family etc.?

• If I get constructive feedback on my personality, do I dismiss it or give it some thought?

• Am I only worried about my own image or am I helping others build theirs?

• Am I self-aware? What steps do I take in order to increase my self-awareness?

• Do I have a trusted network that I can rely on for honest feedback; or have I surrounded myself with people who constantly praise me?

Take the time to be more self-aware and maintain a sense of reality to strengthen your leadership.

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Aditi Chopra is an experienced leader in the software industry.
She is a consultant, writer and a leader.
 LinkedIn |  Web |  Twitter | Books

How to deal with criticism?

Someone asked me this question on Quora recently and the subject is generic enough that I decided to repeat my answer here as well. The question was - "How do I deal with criticism as a leader?"

There are various aspects to dealing with criticism.

• The first and very important aspect - Be aware where the criticism is coming from and should you take it with a grain of salt? Like it or not, people have different intentions when they criticize you and all of them are not genuine.
• If the source is genuine, means well - process the criticism and find out what you can do to change it if anything? Sometimes we have a weakness and we don't consider it big enough to work on it because we are short of time and we can pretty much do by just being aware of the weakness and not necessarily work on it. I always say - play to your strengths. But if the highlighted weakness is limiting, you need to figure out how to overcome it.
• If the feedback is appropriate, find ways to develop your personality or learn the skill. Get a mentor who is skilled in the area or take a class/workshop.
• If the feedback/source is not valid - learn to have a thick skin - easier said than done, but it helps in the long term.

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Aditi Chopra is an experienced leader in the software industry.
She is a consultant, writer and a leader.
 LinkedIn |  Web |  Twitter | Books

Leadership Quotes from my book

Here are a few quotes from my latest leadership book

• An unexpected turn of events that forces leaders to make a critical decision is termed a crisis. What it forces leaders to do is change or be changed. 
• Hindsight is always 20/20 but you can’t have all the information to base the decision, in the time of a crisis. The more important thing is to make a good decision.
• I like to think of confidence as - Not knowing 100% about a job role but believing that one can handle whatever is unknown.
• Welcome change, when it is required. As they say – “Change is the only constant in life”.
• If one is afraid of what others will think and how they will judge, then one is not ready for a leadership role and certainly not a critical leadership role.

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 Aditi Chopra is an experienced leader in the software industry.
She is a consultant, writer and a leader.
 LinkedIn |  Web |  Twitter | Books