Emotional State and Decision Making

Haven't we all taken decisions that we have regretted? If you think back, you will realize that 9 out of 10 times, you acted out of an emotional state, which is why your decision was biased, and later you ended up regretting it.

We all have emotions tied to different circumstances, sometimes it is related to work, and other times it could be relationship issues. However, the important thing is to realize when you are in this vulnerable emotional state, and you shouldn't take any important decisions in that state of mind. This is what emotional intelligence is all about! 

Some of us are in tune with our emotions, and we often realize that we are emotional, but how do you prevent yourself from deciding at this time? That is the tough part! It's almost like you have a strong urge to take action, and yet you know that whatever action you take will not be the best for you.

My advice would be to do something that doesn’t affect another person. As long as you act out your emotions without affecting another person, it won’t matter. You can take several steps to distract yourself – like take a cardio class, meditate or dance it out. Whatever works for you in releasing your negative emotions will help you regain your composure and bring you back to a stable logical state of mind.

Keep in mind that your decisions could impact others and therefore be mindful of your state of mind. Aim to deciding from a logical state of mind and not from an emotional point of view!

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 Aditi Chopra is an experienced leader in the software industry.
She is a consultant, writer and a leader.
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Do You Recognize Your Own Stress?

We all tend to get stressed every now and then but how do we handle it? Do you recognize stress in yourself? Are you self-aware enough to recognize and manage your own stress? These are important questions to ask yourself.

Having a high Emotional Quotient (EQ) is the key to surviving in this fast-paced business world. When you are emotionally intelligent, you are more self-aware and can manage your emotions well.  The last thing you want to do is project your own stress onto others, which will not be good for you either.

Here are a few pointers that can help:

• Aim to increase your self-awareness by listening to feedback. We all have one or two people in our lives who tend to give us real feedback that we can rely on. Listening to their feedback helps you assess your own state of mind and emotions. They can help you recognize stress.
• Be mindful of your own behavior and learn to recognize stress when it happens. This could take some time and getting used to, so be patient.
• If you can identify your own stress, be on the lookout for triggers that are stressing you out and try to lessen those triggers in your life. Sometimes all it takes is to say "no" to one request, and it can make a world of difference.
• Finally, figure out one way that helps you de-stress. For some people, it could be a high-impact workout; for others it could be dancing or meditation. Figure out what works for you and be disciplined enough to take time to de-stress.

It is essential to recognize your stress and take the time to unwind so you can focus better.

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 Aditi Chopra is an experienced leader in the software industry.
She is a consultant, writer and a leader.
 LinkedIn |  Web |  Twitter | Books

Ego is a leader’s enemy

  

Healthy ego is essential for self-esteem and personal development, but an inflated ego is a leader’s worst enemy. Leadership is all about inspiring people, showing them the way, and leading by example. However, a leader with a heightened sense of self can only take from others and will not be able to have a positive influence around him. An egotistic leader would always be focused on serving their own personal agenda.

   I recently came across someone in power who had an overblown ego. I felt pity for the person as I saw them destroy their own image by displaying their conceited personality. When I heard the person speak, their words had a negative connotation and I realized that this leader barely had any self-awareness. It begs the question - are egotistic people solely responsible for their amplified sense of self?

   I tend to think that people who are around a leader also share some responsibility in shaping the leader’s image. If followers keep inflating their ego and don’t provide timely and adequate feedback, things can certainly get out of hand fairly quickly. If these leaders ignore the feedback, of course they are responsible for their own plight. If people keep singing your praise and keep feeding into how wonderful you are, it can get to your head sooner or later. I am pretty sure there are leaders who are secure and wouldn’t get affected by such adulation, nor let it go to their head. However, insecure leaders could be surviving on these false praises and lose any sense of reality. In the process, their own behavior would be hurting their image.

   Needless to say, as a leader, one should be self-aware and keep one’s ego in check. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to keep your ego at bay:

• Do I seek regular feedback from people around me such as my customers, peers, friends, family etc.?

• If I get constructive feedback on my personality, do I dismiss it or give it some thought?

• Am I only worried about my own image or am I helping others build theirs?

• Am I self-aware? What steps do I take in order to increase my self-awareness?

• Do I have a trusted network that I can rely on for honest feedback; or have I surrounded myself with people who constantly praise me?

Take the time to be more self-aware and maintain a sense of reality to strengthen your leadership.

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Aditi Chopra is an experienced leader in the software industry.
She is a consultant, writer and a leader.
 LinkedIn |  Web |  Twitter | Books

Importance of Self Awareness

Emotional intelligence is the best thing that has happened to explaining leadership in a long time. If you haven't, you must read this book by Daniel Goleman

      My favorite emotional intelligence aspect is Self Awareness. Self Awareness is the hardest of all aspects to develop. I wouldn't think anyone is born with Self Awareness but how and when they acquire it can make a big difference in their lives. As a leader, this quality can be extremely useful and can make one a very effective leader.

      There are so many ways, one can use Self Awareness to their advantage. As a leader, if you are self aware, you would know your strengths and weakness very well and so when you are assembling a team, you would want to hire people with complementary strengths to yours. This way you can build a stronger team and get the work done most effectively.

     Self awareness also teaches us that no one is perfect. We all have our unique strengths and weaknesses. Those looking for perfection in themselves or others will soon realize that it is not a quality they should be looking for when hiring people.

      Another way self awareness works for you as a leader is it makes you more open to taking feedback and/or criticism in a healthy way. Without self awareness, one tends to be defensive and cannot accept feedback in stride. Accepting feedback is the key to improving yourself.

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Aditi Chopra is an experienced leader in the software industry.
She is a consultant, writer and a leader.
 LinkedIn |  Web |  Twitter | Books